I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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