Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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