I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
