Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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