it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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