I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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