Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
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