Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
As shirtless as possible
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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