and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
