I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
It's official drugs can't kill me
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
