u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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