fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
