Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize