Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
