I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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Randomize
