Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
