I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
