operation have a gay friend backfired
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
