"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
