Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
