I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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