Texts From Last Night

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  (714): View more from California

  So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him

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  (714): So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him http://tfl.nu/b7ho
  Replies (113) Good night (7913) Bad night (1242)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend

  (1-210): View more from Texas

  I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.

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  (210): drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend (1-210): I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning. http://tfl.nu/558s
  Replies (26) Good night (2148) Bad night (5246)
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  (432): View more from Texas

  then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.

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  (432): then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going. http://tfl.nu/r8d5
  Replies (33) Good night (5448) Bad night (1255)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me

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  (605): mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me http://tfl.nu/m5ve
  Replies (4) Good night (3244) Bad night (755)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.

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  (503): I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan. http://tfl.nu/4npq
  Replies (12) Good night (3341) Bad night (1857)
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  (707): View more from California

  They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven

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  (707): They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven http://tfl.nu/tpek
  Replies (10) Good night (2024) Bad night (661)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.

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  (507): So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver. http://tfl.nu/b2sj
  Replies (3) Good night (1273) Bad night (671)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.

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  (847): stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed. http://tfl.nu/vt40
  Replies (4) Good night (1197) Bad night (879)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples

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  (541): Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples http://tfl.nu/ex1b
  Replies (7) Good night (973) Bad night (533)
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  (227): View more from Maryland

  He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like

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  (227): He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like http://tfl.nu/muep
  Replies (13) Good night (1395) Bad night (543)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.

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  (780): If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference. http://tfl.nu/ntxg
  Replies (23) Good night (1687) Bad night (566)
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  (718): View more from New York

  Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.

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  (718): Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year. http://tfl.nu/pj0t
  Replies (5) Good night (535) Bad night (539)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.

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  (219): You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week. http://tfl.nu/gko2
  Replies (6) Good night (883) Bad night (443)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.

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  (614): I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low. http://tfl.nu/zc0w
  Replies (3) Good night (272) Bad night (736)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice

  (623): View more from Arizona

  You suck, She hit so hard.

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  (602): I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice (623): You suck, She hit so hard. http://tfl.nu/fozp
  Replies (0) Good night (312) Bad night (586)

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