I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity