Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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