Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Randomize
