You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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