How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
