She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
