just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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