my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
