i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
