OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize