I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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