if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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