So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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