"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
