He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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