masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
