she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
