It's just like the Real World with babies
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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