I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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