69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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