Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
