did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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