do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
