Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
