We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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