Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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