Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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