She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
