bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
