um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
