The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
